shorterexcerpts:

ragbag:

1. MIND STRETCH, by Pamela McLaughlin. (Warner, $24.95.) Trang Martinez suspects her Pilates instructor may also be a vicious serial killer.
2. SAGEKNIGHTS OF DARKHORN, by Gerry Banion. (Morrow, $26.95.) Astrid Soulblighter attempts to reclaim the throne from the wicked Scarkrig clan. The fifteenth volume of the “Bloodrealms” series.
3. THE BALTHAZAR TABLET, by Tim Drew. (Doubleday, $24.95) The murder of a cardinal leads a Yale professor and an underwear model to the Middle East, where they uncover clues to a conspiracy kept hidden by the Shriners.
4. GREAT FISH, by Liz Martin. (Simon & Schuster,$23.95.) The Biblical story of Jonah, retold from the point of view of the whale.
5. NICK BOYLE’S SHOCK BLADE: LYNCHPIN by Simon Moskowitz. (Broadman & Holman, $24.99.) After a coup by Admiral Chao threatens to destroy the Internet, the ShockBlade team is forced to ally with their Chinese rivals.
6. KINDNESS TO BIRDS, by Preston Brooks. (Penguin Press, $25.95.) On a journey across the Midwest, a downsized factory worker named Gabriel touches the lives of several people wounded by life.
7. A WHIFF OF GINGHAM AND PECORINO, by Jennifer Austin-Meyers. (Osprey, $19.95.) On a hilltop villa in Sicily, an American divorcee finds new love with a local cheesemaker involved in a blood feud.
8. INDICT TO UNNERVE, by Vic Chaster. (Putnam, $24.95.) A prosecutor is the target of an investigation spawned by the daughter of an international assassin he paralyzed in a golf accident.
9. EXPENSE THE BURBERRY, by Eve Smoot. (Simon and Schuster, $23.95) A young woman in Manhattan spends her days testing luxury goods and her nights partying and complaining.
10. SECRETS OF BEFORE-TIME, by T. Addison Rich. (Morrow, $26.95.) In a post-nuclear future inhabited by intelligent cockroaches, Lt. Cccyxx discovers there was once a race of sentient humans.

from how i became a famous novelist, by steve hely (2009).

the complete list (in genuine nyt fauxness) which also includes non-fiction best sellers can be found here.

in addition: you can tweet (as i have done) your own descriptions of fake best sellers with the #hely tag.

The whole list is good.